god bless the german language for having an insult like arschgeige
mom: hey *dad’s name* oh whoops i mean *brother’s name* oh no *sister’s name* i mean *name of the family goldfish* ah shoot i meant *your name* can you get down here really quick i need something
my dad has literally called me by his own name.
my mother has called me our cats name who has been dead for five years
Anyone who doesn’t like musicals because “no one just starts singing in dancing all of a sudden in real life” has clearly never visited my house
D-D-D-D-D-D-DROP THE VASE
I’m going back to the circus.
NOOO THE CUTE BABY KITTY THING IS HURT
THIS MOTHERFUCKER SHOULD’VE STAYED HURT
The True Madoka Experience
Nuggets of gold in 140 characters or less.
OH MYG GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE JUST WATCH THE THING
mom and dad be like
Albus Severus Potter and the curse of the awful name.
"It is our names, Albus, that show which child our parents really hate, far more than our abilities"
Will: JACK, Hannibal just posted these selfies on his twitter!
Jack: Lol! Oh that Hanni, he sure is a jokester!
Will: (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻